Give the Call Something To Do, and Three Minutes Turns Into Twenty

A grandmother at her kitchen table smiling at a tablet showing a video call with her grandchild, both looking at a shared story on the screen

New research on grandparent video calls finds the ones that last are built around a shared activity, not a shared Q&A. Here is how to add one tonight.

5th October 2026
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Introduction

My call with my granddaughter Emma lasts three minutes. I ask about school. She says fine. I ask about soccer. She says fine. Then there is a pause neither of us knows what to do with, and she says she has to go. I have been doing this long enough to know that pause. It is not boredom. It is longing with nowhere to land.

I used to think a longer call meant a better question. It does not. It means a shared thing to do.

Why the Call Dies at Minute Three

Researchers who study video calls between grandparents and grandchildren keep landing on the same finding: a call built around a shared activity runs three to four times longer than a call built around questions alone. A story read together. A simple game played turn by turn. The activity gives the call something to do, and that is what keeps a nine-year-old in her chair.

Questions ask a child to perform. How was school. What did you do today. A nine-year-old answers those the way she answers a teacher taking attendance: fast, flat, and done. A shared activity asks her to participate instead. She is not reporting on her day. She is doing something with you, and that is the part she stays for.

I did not believe this until I tried it. One evening I pulled up a picture book on my tablet before I called Emma and asked if she wanted to read it together instead of talking about school. She said yes before I finished the sentence. Twenty-two minutes later her mother knocked on her door to say it was bath time.

On KinClub: Story Reader puts a library of free picture books right in the app, so you and a grandchild can tap through the same pages together at your own pace. It turns a call built on questions into one built on a shared story. Try it at kin-club.com

What to Add Before You Dial

The fix is not a longer conversation. It is a shorter gap between hello and doing something together. A shared game or story gives the call a shape, and a child does not want to leave early when there is a shape to hold onto. Once Emma and I had our picture book, we added a word game we play on our own screens while we talk, trading guesses back and forth like we are in the same room. The talking still happens. It just happens around something, instead of being the whole point.

KinClub has more than a dozen two-player word games, including GridWords and Bulls and Cows, built for exactly this: two screens, one shared board, no winner that matters more than the time spent.

  • Pick one activity, a book, a word game, or a puzzle, and keep it the same for a few weeks so it becomes a ritual
  • Open the book or game before you dial, so there is no setup once the call connects
  • Let the grandchild choose which page, whose turn, or what word, so she stays in charge of the activity
  • Keep a simple two-player word game ready as a backup for calls that start slow
  • Save the last few minutes of the call for talking only, once the activity has warmed things up

Resources

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Conclusion

Three minutes was never really about Emma losing interest. It was about a call with nothing in it to hold onto. Give it something to hold, and watch what happens to the clock.

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About Mari Bennett

We're passionate about helping families find a healthy balance with technology. Our team creates content on healthy screen time, educational tech, and building strong family connections in the digital age.

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